Lately I was so busy that I forgot what is important and what is not, and now looking back it is like I walked so far and so fast that those who made me become the person that I am had disappeared somewhere in the past, and when I woke up I found myself responsible about many changes in other people’s life, I found myself an icon for many people around me especially children that I opened many doors for them to a different horizon but I couldn’t do anything to change myself.
Now that I look back, I feel that maybe I did that because I wanted others to escape the unpleasant experiences that I had in my life, the damages I had to rebuild and the tears I had to cry as a part of the understanding and growing process, I thought that I may be able to save their tears and to ease their pain. I know abused Childs that are so creative and clever although their life is a hell, violent parents, poor families, and old people begging for some food…. Many painful facts that we pass by every single day and pretend that it is not a part of our lives,
In life we can not have everything we want; a part of me tries to convince me to give up all the cultural activities that we at the JRFC organize, why to bother when some people doesn’t even care to get themselves out of their shell, but then a call comes from a person or another who tries to help, or have an idea, or just simply calls to thank us for our efforts, and I remember that we became a big family, all for change, all for a better future, a better life and MORE FREEDOM.
During the JRFC project, I have met great people, youth who wants to make a better world for ourselves and our children, young people who care, and have the ability to apply their thoughts, to inspire others, to fight till the last moment for their beliefs, to make their parents understand that change is good, and that we are young but we have faith, fragile but strong enough to stand still when life demands….. and with them I have learnt that I can not give up when people look up to you and I should always be the person they have in mind as a friend, sister, or a president that must take decisions although they know well that sometimes I make mistakes and many times they get me out of disappointments.
I am not Jesus to save all those people from their lives, I am just one girl that some may consider weird while others see me as a super girl, some are so in love with me while others may see me as a shallow person, many wish to hear a word from me while others may not want to reply when I send a message… that made me wander… do I have a double life?? A double personality?? Or am I living in a schizophrenic world? I know am a person with a temper sometimes but I believe that anyone who looks carefully will see the true person inside, but we became so busy with ourselves that we forgot the simple things around us.
I have learned –the hard way- many things during the last year of my life, but I never understood those who doesn’t have the ability to open their lives to others, we r all humans, we are all some closed rooms with doors but you can socialize with anyone if you found his key, and it is so strange that others can not believe that u just try to be a friend, you are nice without anything in return, you want them in your life to help you grow, to give you the feeling of belonging and protection and satisfy all those basic human needs…. I can not be one of (Don’t tell anyone)’s group, why don’t we start a new day, tell others that you are happy or sad, tell others that you love them, tell them that you care, or at least accept people who care into your life just the way they are instead of judging …… that what makes our lives worth
DIANA DUMOUR
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